Fragile
by wolf of infinity
Summary: Russia overhears Estonia and Latvia talking about him behind his back, and breaks down... Can be seen as Russia x Lituania or just friendship. One-shot.


_I recently started watching Hetalia, and I find myself completely in love with the series__~ That, combined with a strange surge of creativity, and lack of sleep, made me write a little fic, from an idea I suddenly had. It can be seen as Russia x Lithuania or just friendship, suit yourself ^^_

_You might say "Bah, Russia's so OOC…!" but really, when he pops up in the series, no matter how creepy, there's something about him that makes him seem like a misunderstood, fragile and traumatized child… ^_^' So, yeah… I hope you like the story~_

_oOoOo_

The winds seemed to be especially unforgiving this particular night. Russia released a huff of air, his tired, violet eyes set on the path before him, leading up to his house. It was dark, and the building seemed like a looming shadow, light only switched on in a few of the rooms on the first floor.

To Russia, it seemed unfair that the house seemed so cold and threatening, while on the inside it was decorated quite warmly and richly. It was almost like him in that sense; with an outside that gave a wrong impression of what rested inside. Of course, there were secrets, pain, sorrow, but nothing that justified such a frightening exterior.

His business trip hadn't taken as long as he'd feared, yet he was both physically and mentally exhausted from the ordeal. The other nations weren't the easiest to be with, with their tendency to argue and yell at each other at any given time.

Truly, they annoyed him at times. Nagging and fighting about their trivial problems, they rarely, if ever, thought of asking him what problems he had to deal with. He never said anything either, they clearly weren't interested.

However, no matter how irritating their constant bickering and taunting could be, it always sent a wave of pain and envy through his chest region. When was the last time anyone had dared to stand up against him? When was the time someone dared to laugh and tease him? When was the last the time anyone had laid their hand on his shoulder at the end of a meeting and said 'good job', or 'thanks for your hard work'?

He couldn't recall that there had ever been such a time… Not for as long as he could – or wanted – to remember.

Opening the front door, he didn't make a big deal out of being home. Drying of his boots, which were wet with melted snow, and taking his warm outer cloak off, he moved further into the hall, hanging it on its regular spot by the stair case.

The sound of loud laughter almost startled him, being so out of place in the usually quiet building. The door to the kitchen was slightly open, and cast a warm light out into the hall, where the lights were switched off. It seemed inviting, and Russia walked over in hope to greet his friends.

"Really, he's mentally unstable…!" a loud voice said, causing his steps to falter. He stopped in the shadows, and recognized the next voice to be Estonia's.

"Truly… The way his mood switches just like that… I mean, he creeps me out!"

"He's got no right to treat us the way he does, it just makes me want to leave this hell even more!" little Latvia's voice could be heard, and there was no sign of trembling now that he thought Russia wasn't within range.

Russia felt a knot fasten in his chest, and it was like the very air had been hit out of his lungs, leaving him standing there with lips slightly parted in disbelief.

It seemed the two Baltic countries were having a wonderful conversation. About him. He was starting to feel dizzy where he stood, listening as they laughed and kept joking at his expense, or talking about how much they disliked him and feared him, and how they wanted nothing but to get away and abandon him.

Their words echoed in his mind along with their spiteful laughter.

_It's impossible to like monsters like him!_

_Man, he's the worst kind of guy_

_Wouldn't batter an eye at torture and murder_

_I hate him_

_Hate him_

_Really, hate him…!_

His hands flew to his head and he found himself taking a shaking step backwards, unable to breathe as he felt tears burning in his eyes.

All this time, he'd thought they were his friends. Sure, he might be strong and a little difficult living with. True, he might seem a little cold and threatening at times, and yes, if they were bad, he'd punish them, just like any rightful older brother would… Still, he'd never really hurt them. Contrary to popular belief, he never physically tortured them or did anything justifying this…

He was a monster, he knew that, he'd been told that since he was little, and it was all he knew who to be, even if he tried his best to get along and protect those he cared about. It was just too easy to hate big, mean Russia.

It wasn't true that torture and murder didn't affect him. He woke up almost every night from nightmares haunting him, the faces of innocent lives he'd been forced to take, the blood on his hands, the pain, and the fear… the blinding, tormenting panic…

_Really hate him…!_

"Oh, R-Russia, when did you come back…?" the gentle, though slightly quivering, voice behind him made him freeze, but he was unable to make a sound, even as he heard Lithuania stop a few feet away from him.

The kitchen had gone deadly quiet, and suddenly the slow shuffling of chairs could be heard and the door opened wider. Both men that stood there paled to the shade of a pallid grey, with pure fear. Latvia looked ready to faint, and Estonia trembled.

"Eh? What's going on…?" Lithuania asked, clearly confused and alarmed at the tense silence stretching on. Russia couldn't breathe. Couldn't think straight. All he could hear were the hateful things they had said about him behind his back. It hurt. Oh God, it hurt…!

"R-Russia?" Lithuania gasped as he suddenly whirled around darting towards the door, without bothering to fetch his cloak again. He just had to get away from there, at once…! He could hear Lithuania demanding an explanation from the other two countries, but knew that the third Baltic country probably agreed to everything that had been said.

Of course he did. Everyone probably did. That was what they saw when they looked at Russia; a monster. A heartless, ruthless man with no emotions, and a crazed, unstable mind. Someone to mock and laugh at. Someone to fear and hate.

The night air seemed even harsher now, either because of the lack of proper clothing or the betrayal. He panted for air, the Russian climate stinging in his lungs and making his face and body go numb. He hardly noticed.

He wasn't sure how far he had run, or where he was, but suddenly his boot caught in the snow and he fell forward into the icy substance with a choked cry. The last of his strength had been sapped, and he could only sit there, letting his tears flow freely.

_It's impossible to like monsters like him!_

"No… I'm n-not… I never meant…"

_I hate him!_

"Why…? What have I done w-wrong?"

_I really hate him…!_

"Don't… I'm sorry! I d-don't want to be hated… I don't want be alone!" he sobbed, hugging himself in a weak attempt to push away the cold night air and the haunting words.

"Russia!" a gasp broke his lips, but he couldn't collect energy to get up and run away as the running foot steps got closer.

"G-go away!" he gasped out, vision clouded by tears and biting winds.

"Russia, please, you'll get sick like this…!" Lithuania's soft, concerned voice came closer and Russia heard him slow down, taking slow steps towards him.

"W-wouldn't that be best? I should just get sick and die, or even b-better, freeze to d-death! P-problem solved, da?" Russia's voice trembled with cold and raw emotions, followed by a barely constrained sob.

"What are you say-"

"You'd get rid of me forever! T-that's what you want, Net?" Why was Lithuania still standing here? Did he find this amusing? Seeing the great Russia breaking down like this, proving just how unstable and unpredictable he was. Must be a real sight…

The sound of steps coming closer could be heard again, and Russia felt himself closing his eyes, awaiting some sort of pain, his defences crumpled and left behind in the snow.

However, his eyes flew open again when he felt arms embrace him, holding him tight. Lithuania had fallen to his knees in front of him, holding him gently.

"P-please don't say that, Russia! I d-don't hate you, I can't hate you…!" he heard the other man say, as the warmth of the embrace seemed to paralyze him yet again.

"Y-you're lying…! I'm a monster! I have killed p-people…!"

"You've only done what you had to do," Lithuania murmured, his warm breath comfortable against Russia's ear. "I've heard you wake up with nightmares, and I've heard you c-cry. You're not a monster, just… misunderstood!"

The sincerity in the words seemed to touch the fractured and poorly mended heart, and on pure instinct, Russia hugged Lithuania back, leaning his head against his shoulder and crying. The other held him, stroking his hair softly and whispering comforting words as the icy winds blew around them.

For once in his life, he found he might be able to relax a little and trust the comforting words that replaced the hatred and laughter, comforted by the other's presence.

"It's ok, Russia, it's ok. I won't abandon you."

And right there and then, he could have sworn the night seemed to get a little warmer.

oOoOo

_Would be nice if you could leave a review, telling me what you thought of this ^^_

_Da – yes_

_Net - no_


End file.
